Coot Ponders Comprehension

When substitute teaching at the local high school your Cootish Entity regularly heard “Mr. Coot, you use such big words.”

What the mumbler meant was that I used a vocabulary that included uncommon words.

I also knew that those making that comment were not listening well since I did use “big” words but also included a simpler word while speaking to define that word.

I also often wrote the BIG word on the white board and added a simpler word underneath to assist in defining that word.

Over time, I gave up on that tactic and to save time altered my presentations so as to use the simplest words possible. A trait I noticed that most teachers used to simplify their job.

Sadly, the high school I was teaching in was located in that states’ highest income town, a place where the local elites dwelt and whose spawn are mostly upper-upper middle class and above with a huge percentage of the students headed off to college.

Most of those kids were unprepared for college or life and likely achieved ultimate economic success via daddy or mommy’s connections within the business world.

There were many CEOs and highly-placed corporate droids whose spawn attended that school.

Relative wealth of the student’s families was indicated by the cars those students drove. New expensive cars glutted the parking lot.

Listening to student conversations I was shocked about the places travelled to during vacations past and planned.

Cabo, Bermuda and Bahamas, various locales in Europe… sometimes even during a short school break of just a few days.

My goodness. What a different world from the one your Cootness was reared within.

I recall kids bragging of being sent to “juvie,” juvenile hall, incarceration for kids. Those were the kids looked up to. Few kids had a car and those who did drove old heaps.  Vacations were a drive to a national park and camping for the richer families while the poorer folks made do with local venues if a vacation was a part of the summer routine.

The above was pondered upon while reading some of the comments sent to your  Coot, mostly from coquettish females lambasting and berating me for my opinions about many topics but mostly about females and the Females as Property Movement (FAPM).

Among those communiqués full of bile and condemnation and accusations regarding my sanity and mental abilities and inabilities I noticed similarities among many of those messages; one being a boring sameness among the messages, as if rote memorization was relied upon regarding words and terms used, indicative of past indoctrination that fed the fire of their writing.

Another similarity was an apparent lack of reading comprehension among those reviling the lovable pudgy Coot. Despite my frequent use of modifiers and proclamations that declarative statements were used to shorten essay length and that exceptions exist in almost everything and specifically declaring prominently that some females are fully qualified and capable for inclusion within adult society AND that some males are akin to females in being unable to muster the capacities and capabilities needed for adult inclusion… many females “wringing the Coot’s neck” via the written mumble appear to have been unable to comprehend the Coot’s writing.

Digging into ancient memory I recalled the need to lower one’s verbal and written output so as to allow the maximum number of people to comprehend one’s communications.

Poking around the Wide World of Webdom I found an enormous number of numbers, a mind numbing number of numbers, numerically number speaking.

Those numbers told of the numbers and percentages of a huge number of categories and statistics and a pinch of this and a dash of that, a veritable recipe of reading comprehension levels.

Sit with mouth agape at the following found factoids.  Figures vary from source-to-source but the range variance was not all that humongous with statistics close enough for either government or Coot work:

Nearly half of America’s adults are poor readers, or “functionally illiterate.”

50 percent of American adults are unable to read an eighth grade level book.

About 20% of the US population is functionally illiterate; for some subsets of our population, that rises to 40%.

Among 17-year-olds, the percentage of non-readers doubled over a 20-year period, from nine percent in 1984 to 19 percent in 2004.

My personal observations within public schools and my fellow Americans during daily activities and viewing a multitude of Web message board postings the past 13 years (aboard the Web in the Spring of 1996) I can only conclude that a large percentage of high school-aged kids and adults are lacking in reading comprehension with their writing ability also lacking.

I can only wonder how my writing is interpreted within the minds of many of my readers, especially those sending scathing scrawls severely scolding the Old Fart-like Coot.

Some may wonder why I do not do as the “professional” writers do, reduce my sentence and paragraph lengths and utilize the most basic vocabulary possible.

Some “experts” declare that one should write for the masses at a level the typical 8th grader can comprehend.

Other sources state that reading comprehension levels for the general adult population have dropped over the last couple decades and recommend a 6th-grade writing level so as to maximize the number of bleating sheep ignoramuses (ignorami ?) who are able to understand the words and the message(s) they convey.

Well, your Coot refuses to accept that advice. It is much more fun to confuse the addle-minded semi-illiterates of the land.

Besides, I also receive a few messages from readers proclaiming their delight with the Coots’ meandering messages, opinions, comments and various outpourings that somehow appear within the bowels of my mind and wend their way to monitors across the planet via the written word.

The Disgruntled Dude, the Coot, is not bothered by the scathing comments sent his way, nay!!!  As the entertainment stars say, bad publicity is better than no publicity.

I would rather be despised than ignored, though being ignored is no problem. Heck, I even ignore myself much of the time!!!

So, keep those messages and comments coming, kids, especially you offended females. Reading your emotion-laden irrational mewlings that are often merely cobbled together tid-bits of implanted-by-others knee-jerk rhetoric convinces me even more of the absolute need for the Females as Property Movement or some variation thereof.

Here yah’ go girls… liberate yourself from self-enlightenment, rationality, logical thinking and continue being influenced by advertisers and spewers of politically correct brainwashing and follow your instincts that attract you to baubles and trinkets and the endless pursuit of triviality.

Maybe because you are one of the small percentage of females who have transcended the actions and mentality of the female majority and are capable of full inclusion into adult society.

Then again, maybe you should hie off to the kitchen and do something productive for a change.

If the Females as Property  Movement ever succeeds we will never have the buffoon below representing the USA and interacting with foreign leaders and dignitaries. Shudder. No wonder so many non-USA folks look down upon the USA. Heck, I live in the USA and have doubts about this country and having that Clinton clown as one of the elites’ lackeys sends spasms of disgust and revulsion through my meek mild-mannered mindlet.

Thus concludes the latest Disgruntled Diatribe.

Goodnight America and to all the ships at sea.

Word of the Week

Hi kids!!!!

It’s that time again… Word of the Week time!!!!  Yay!

Do you kids know what a zerk is?

Well, click on “zerk” above if you do not know the definition and/or need/want to know how to pronounce our weekly word that seldom appears weekly but “week” and “word” both start with a “w” so what the heck…

To hear the word zerk spoken at the linked-to Web site you gotta’ click on the little speaker thingy and allow pop-ups.

If the audio doesn’t work for you zerk rhymes with jerk.

Hey herd, yer’ laudable Coot just thought of a name for those of thee unable to concoct or agree upon a name for the vile spawn you created.

Name the little heathen Zerk!!! Beats the heck out of Swine Flu Smith or Anabolic Steroid Swenson or some such name.

If your last name is Zamboni then Zerk Zamboni has a mighty nice sound to it.

If the Coot was to spawn…  very doubtful since your Cootster keeps those money-sucking soul-sapping females at arms’ length, well, if somehow a spawn I was responsible for naming appeared I believe I would name the critter Ghengis Kahn and any last name except my own.

I just like that name.

If the kid was a female, tough. Ghengis Kahn it is and as it is written so shall it be.

Back to the zerk.  Here’s some information about a contraption not as common as it used to be:  click here you demented fool.

Here’s an entire box of zerks of various types.  Little Ghengis Kahn Whatever would surely shriek with glee at finding these under the Christmas tree.  Imagine the loving hug the wife unit would give you after receiving her own box of Zerks on her wedding anniversary.  Better than a shotgun cleaning kit. You betcha’.  Ain’t yer Coot a romantic sort?

Hey, let’s poke through the pic pile and see what we can find!!!

Well, this one should popularize me even more with the wacky wimmenfolk.

Well, true in many ways but there are exceptions. Females excel in many areas but too many of the daffy dames believe those exceptions are far greater in number than actually exist.

And as the Cootster has repeatedly declared, there are the few gals with abilities beyond the female norm that allow them to be fully functional adults worthy of all adult rights and privileges while meeting adult responsibilities.

It is just a terrible shame those females are such a small minority with the majority of gals requiring the presence of the Females as Property Movement to protect those majority of dames along with protecting society from the rampaging emotion-laden instinct-driven irrational “precious princesses.”

This one should alleviate the grunting and growling of the feminist freaks writing and informing this Disgruntled Old Coot what an ignorant idiotic buffoon I must be.  Golly, thanks, girls. You make an Old Fart blush!

Hmmmm…. fairly accurate, in general.  She needs a little make-up, though.

Wonder what Moses has been up to lately?

Same old Moses. What a trouble-maker.  Wonder if his babes nagged him about those 4 decades or so wandering from place to place?

I wonder what George Washington would have thought about females voting, especially todays’ dingy spoiled dames with their “precious princess” attitudes and lack of concern by most of the female brat pack regarding current events, political affairs, etc. and an overwhelming sense of materialism and the all-too-common female “me me me me me” attitude?

I thought so. Old George was an intelligent rational fellow and he and his cohorts knew what was best for society and culture  and knew better than to allow irrational creatures such as human females too much power within a civilized society.

That concludes this edition of the immensely popular Word of the Week. Well, popular among many males and a mere minute speck of females who can yank the cell phone away from their vacuous heads and concentrate for more than a mere few seconds away from their beloved baubles and trinkets.

Coot Notes Centennial

Okay, your year is up.  Back to the kitchens you addle-minded illogical materialistic befuddled dames.

The few of you capable of meeting adult responsibilities know who you are so do whatcha’ normally do.

The rest of you batty broads… the Females as Property Movement compels you to assume your diminutive position in society.

Doing so is for the good of all.

Especially for you idiotic dames who believe you are the equal of males in all of society’s many aspects.

Coot Chortles and Chuckles

Capitalistic Coot

So, you start a business. For whatever reason. Likely to make some money so you can fill your too-large abode with a bunch of possessions.

If thou art a female or are attached to one akin to a tape worm attached to your intestinal wall with the female parasite sucking your life essence from you, those possessions are likely intended to be impressive to others, arouse envy and to cater to those whose indoctrination with the materialism craze has be accomplished via all those utilizing brainwashing to ensure that Americas’ human herd are good little droids, mere bleating sheep with minimal self-induced brain functionality.

Of course those possessions, especially the furniture and appliances, will be the heaviest most awkward available so that when the addle-minded female wants an even bigger mini-mansion to show off her goods the male idiotic enough to have that female within his domain will have to endure the hazards of relocating said back-breakingly heavy possessions… or call upon the lower-class working-poor males to risk their bodies and health to move the possessions.

Heaven forbid a female satisfy herself with furnishings such as the Disgruntled One has within his shanty…

Ain’t she pretty?  Coot has several styles and colors of plastic furniture. Some have solid shelves. Some have lips around the shelves’ edges to assist in keeping items atop the shelf from falling off. Some are comprised of thicker plastic thus able to handle heavier loads.

One commonality is low price and low weight. With one arm and grasping paw one plastic shelf  (minus the burden it happily holds)  can be lifted and carried making moving to a different shanty a breeze.  Coot guesses that practicality is cast asunder within the extreme limitations of the female mind since handy dandy low-cost easily-transportable furnishings do not convey the appropriate emotionality the clucking biddy females require of their possessions.

I doubt the hovering hens would gather around plastic furnishings and crow about the wonderment of plastic as those biddies do about bright shiny baubles and ungawdly heavy wooden accouterments made of the most expensive materials available.

Cavorting Coot

I am in the kitchen where my man wants me.  When he is happy I am happy.

I am also in the kitchen.  Our house is a home and my man treats me so well.  All I have to do is make a little effort (not nearly as much as he does at his job)  and not behave as today’s typical so-called feminist idiotic woman does and there is so much peace and joy and happiness abounding in our abode.

The wench was constantly nagging at her man. Constant bickering and always complaining about the least little thing!!!  I witnessed the wench!!!  She never shut up.  Always griping and complaining no matter how hard her man tried to please her. She is the ungrateful spoiled self-centered wench of the type we tried to leave behind in the decadent Old World.

I heard the wench, also!!! She may not be an actual witch but she might as well be one.  Banish her for the good of society!!

Hear hear!!! Huzzah!!! Put her in the stocks!!!

Females freak out so easily.  Luckily, this particular addle-minded emotion-laden female has a level-headed male to guide her through life’s travails.

Females as Property Movement (FAPM)

A complex concept yet certain aspects of FAPM are very simple.

No!!!  Girls do not necessarily have cooties.  They CAN have cooties but lice infestation is not extremely common in the USA, though outbreaks do occur.  Males can also be the host for parasitical lice so the malady is not a female-only problem.

Okay, pictured below is a “good” female.  in the kitchen.  Working.  No tattoos marring her face or neck.  No chunks of metal shoved through her lips, nose, eyebrow, etc.  Sure, the daffy dame possesses the typical drawbacks all females possess but the stereotypical Television-based female shown below is likely acceptable to FAPM.

Another acceptable aspect of females in general is a visual delight.  FAPM views the pic below as demonstrative of a very acceptable aspect of femaleness.

FAPM cringes at the following.

A good female is neat and tidy and always ready to grab a handy tool to fight the constant battle against dirt, grime, spills and other impediments to clean, sanitary living.

If the females’ owner allows her to work outside the home the female employee is always respectful and subservient to her employer.  While FAPM does allow the few non-addle-minded competent females full access to adult society, statistics indicate that the odds will be that a females’ employer will be a male.

Here’s Your Change You Old Coot

Your Disgruntled Old Coot has noticed the trend of change givers placing coins on top of bills.

So many times I clearly and succinctly plead for the change giver to place the coins within my paw before handing me the paper currency.

Doing the change giving routine in that manner is just so much more efficient and avoids the coins sliding off the bills, perhaps onto the floor.

The coins first format is especially crucial at the drive-through window of a fast-food scarf-n-barf where dropped coins can be harder to retrieve or where a gusting wind can blow bills out of ones’ hand.

Returning coins before paper money is just a better more sensible way of returning change.

Maybe that is why I notice females tending to return the bills first then placing a pile of coins atop the bills.

For years I have tried to instruct the ignorant sheeplets as to why the coins first method is preferable.  The response I receive is typical, especially from the females of the Herd.

Females, in general, do not appreciate being asked to return change in a manner that is desired by a customer, even when the manner is more efficient.

Some females get rather snotty and bothered when asked and especially so when given an explanation as to WHY the coins first method is preferred and is more efficient.

Your Disgruntled One created the Females as Property Movement (FAPM) for many reasons with the common negative female reaction to being asked for “coins first, please” and/or informing a self-centered female as to why the coins are desired first being one of those reasons for determining the absolute need to limit the self-centered dingy dames from full access to adult rights and privileges.

If the idiotic broads can’t even manage to return change properly what makes the little “Princesses” believe they are worthy of driving a vehicle or making a voting decision?

Oh the reactions I have observed among so many of the shrew-like dames when even politely asked to give me the coins first!!!! Silly inane females. Undoubtedly the vast majority of the gender need to be curtailed, kept in thralldom, for their own and society’s well-being.

Apparently female employees tend to view a customer as a bother and that the customer is supposed to serve the change giver, to be a docile recipient of whatever manner the female change giver returns change due to the customer.

Also at fault are the countless managers of individual outlets and the corporate structure above the retail outlets for failing to train their imbecilic droids in the lost art of change giving methods.

During my Cootish Travels (tm) through the land I have encountered a small minority of change givers who do place the coins first, leaving fingers free to grasp the bills. I specifically thank those folks, complimenting them upon their professional-ness.

Most thank me and state their own anger or disgust or loathing or decipherment of whatever at those placing coins atop the bills in an outstretched grasping paw. A small minority declare that they were specifically taught to give change back coins first and bills after.

And that is how it should be.

So, speak up, Herd. Voice thine opinion to those placing coins atop the bills sitting in your outstretched hand. Try to instruct those blithering idiots in regards to the fine art of change returning.

Assist the USA in taking a small step, a very small step down the path of logic and rationality and the lusted-for return to the days of old when coins always were deposited in the paw before the bills were offered.

As it is written so it shall be.

Or face Old Coot Wrath (tm).

Females as Property Movement: Suitable Female Employment

With so many innate inadequacies inbred into the daffy dames the little darlings are limited in the roles they can fill within the workforce.

FAPM, (Females as Property Movement) the fast-growing soon-to-be-ubiquitous influencer of individuals, society, culture and government, has consulted herd members for opinions on tasks, chores and paying jobs females tend to be the most qualified to perform.

Generally, females, after one has pried the cell phone away from their too-often underused heads containing their brainlets, require constant supervision to keep their easily-distracted mindlets upon the task at hand.

Their short attention span greatly limits the tasks suitable for females.

Also, the female tendency towards “vapors” and swooning and other contrived usually self-imposed limitations precludes their performing many tasks requiring physical exertion.  The lassies are “precious Princesses,” you know and despite the constant lamentations of the idiotic feminist phreaks that females are the equal of males even the casual observer seeing the little darlings at work know of the fallacy of that typical idiotic feminist assertion.

Sorry, girlies, but your assertion typically does not reveal itself in exertion, especially when on the job site.

As regularly mentioned in FAPM communiques life is full of exceptions and the female of the species does contain those exceptions.

There are the few females with the natural abilities and/or training to fit into adult society worthy of some to all the rights and privileges allotted adults and, even rarer, capable of meeting the responsibilities that accompany full adulthood.

For those few females, once they have been winnowed away from the majority of feeble females frolicking through life with a child’s mind, partial to full access to adult society will be granted.

Very Very Few Females Should be Allowed to Drive